Rightwing freakbag-ery ahoy!

First up, absolutely nobody is actually gay!

(pause)

Well, according to Linda Harvey, anyway. Y'see, according to Linda The Psychotic: Being "gay" is something that new-age spiritualist loners who have been influenced by feminism, Oprah Winfrey and yes, even the DaVinci Code want to be, because it's politically and socially expedient. Ms. Harvey advises the Governor to get himself saved by a Christian, and then go home to his wife.

Wow, the things you learn on t3h intarweb! Like, say, finding out that one of the Swift Boat Liars was a member of the Bush-Cheney campaign until at least as recently as two days ago!

In conclusion, if you're counting on getting overtime anytime in the near future, forget it.

That's the news and I am outta here!

*ponder* Ya know, I so need to start doing an.. ahem.. daily news show on Radio N. What do you folks think?

Bush apparently wants to go watch the Iraqi soccer team in the Olympics.

The Iraqi soccer team's response?

In short, piss off.

Very rough draft of part of my inaugural address ;)

My fellow Americans..

Tonight I stand with you in a healing America. I thank the administration of John Kerry and John Edwards for laying the foundation for healing the scars left by four years of the single most corrupt, spiritually stilted and morally perverse administration in living memory. That administration practiced the politics of divisiveness and paranoia, I practice the politics of unity. As with the election of the Kerry and Edwards administration, you the American people stood up and said not in our country to their deceit, divisiveness and fear mongering. They tried to paint my running mate and myself as tools of Socialism. Well, if caring about the sick, the elderly and the hungry as opposed to laying all the benefits of life solely at the feet of the rich, white and upper middle class at minimum makes me Socialist, then so be it.

They tried to play the politics of sexual orientation, and we said not in our country. I and my running mate maintain that if you are expected to pay taxes, if you are eligible to fight for and possibly lay down your life in the service of your country, and if you are expected to vote a man or a woman into the highest office in the land, then you are entitled to the exact same benefits, legal and spiritual, as any other human being walking the face of this country, and we will not accept any other outcome.

I want America to once again be a shining beacon of hope, instead of a locked lead door of fear and repression. But let our enemies understand that if they test us, we will come for them and we will not rest until they learn the fatal lesson that you don't mess with the U.S. I maintain the policy of pre-emptive military action should be a last resort, not a first course of action. We do not run the world, nor do we make its decisions for it. The United States is merely a neighbor in this magnificent global village, and it's high time we start behaving like a good neighbor again as opposed to the town bully.