FUCK Bill O'Reilly

(Overheard on today's show by a member of o_reallyfactor)

O'Reilly:"when you become pregnant, you lose control of your body. you've made the decision to be come pregnant, so when you become pregnant, you're sharing your body with someone else. that forfeits your right to have total control."

Woman Caller:"i'm sorry, but i don't agree with you."

O'Reilly:"well, you have to. that's the way it is."

Falafel Man proceeded to then hang up on the woman and call her "a liberal who doesn't know what she's talking about", and then went to a commercial.

And just because I'm pissed off and in the perfect mood to do so, here's a cartoon from the wise and holy scottbateman that pretty much sums up President Bucky The Wonder Chimp's budget.

( Spin this one, Bush apologists. )

Movie critic gets SERVED by Rob Schneider

Patrick Goldstein of The Los Angeles Times wrote:

"It’s a funny thing, but today’s movie studios are no longer in the Oscar business. If there’s one common thread among this year’s five best picture nominees, it’s that they were largely financed by outside investors. The most money any studio put into one of the nominees was the $21 million that Miramax anted up for “Finding Neverland.” The other nominated films were orphans — ignored, unloved and turned down flat by most of the same studios that eagerly remake dozens of old TV series (aren’t you looking forward to a bigger, dumber version of “The Dukes of Hazzard”?) or bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo,” a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic."

Rob Schneider (who, up until this, I had always thought was a dink but boy oh boy was I wrong) responds:

"Dear Patrick Goldstein, Staff Writer for the Los Angeles Times,

My name is Rob Schneider and I am responding to your January 26th front page cover story in the LA Times, where you used my upcoming sequel to ‘Deuce Bigalow’ as an example of why Hollywood Studios are lagging behind the Independents in Academy nominations. According to your logic, Hollywood Studios are too busy making sequels like “Deuce Bigalow’ instead of making movies that you would like to see.

Well Mr. Goldstein, as far as your snide comments about me and my film not being nominated for an Academy Award, I decided to do some research to find what awards you have won.

I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind, Disappointed, I went to the Pulitzer Prize database of past winners and nominees. I though, surely, there must be an omission. I typed in the name Patrick Goldstein and again, zippo—nada. No Pulitzer Prizes or nominations for a ‘Mr. Patrick Goldstein.’ There was, however, a nomination for an Amy Goldstein. I contacted Ms. Goldstein in Rhode Island, she assured me she was not an alias of yours and in fact like most of the World had no idea of your existence.

Frankly, I am surprised the LA Times would hire someone like you with so few or, actually, no accolades to work on their front page. Surely there must be a larger talent pool for the LA Times to draw from. Perhaps, someone who has at least won a ‘Cable Ace Award.’

Maybe, Mr. Goldstein, you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for “Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter, Who’s Never Been Acknowledged By His Peers!”

Patrick, I can honestly say that if I sat you your colleagues at a luncheon, afterwards, they’d say “You know, that Rob Schneider is a pretty intelligent guy, I hope we can do that again.” Whereas, if you sat with my colleagues, after lunch, you would just be beaten beyond recognition.

For the record, Patrick, your research is shabby as well. My next film is not ‘Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 2.’ It’s ‘Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,’ in theaters EVERYWHERE August 12th 2005.

All my best,
Rob Schneider"

Hard evidence George Bush has no fucking clue what he's talking about

Shocking, I know.

"In the year 2018, for the first time ever, Social Security will pay out more in benefits than the government collects in payroll taxes." - George Bush, January 2005.

Years that Preznit Dubya "forgets":

1957
1958
1959
1961
1962
1965
1975
1976
1977
1978
1979
1980
1981
1982
1983

"For too long, too many people dependent on Social Security have been cruelly frightened by individuals seeking political gain through demagoguery and outright falsehood, and this must stop," Reagan said. "The future of Social Security is much too important to be used as a political football." - Ronald Reagan.

That hard evidence I mentioned?

Social Security Administration records.

Idiot.

Back to Madden 2003 for me.

There is no Coach option in Madden 2004. Bummer.

Okay. Dolphins vs. Jaguars, my first-round-draft-pick-traded-for QB Michael Vick is back in the pocket, pressure from the outside, TE is open.. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN SACKED? I HIT THE +_@($_#)&* PASS BUTTON, YOU SIMPLE MINDED SONOFA+_!(@#$&.. ackbrrghh...

*head 'splodey*