Radio Nose Ferret Saturday Night - This is the BBC Light Programme.

There will follow a series of notes disguised as music with japes and witticisms disguised as comedy. If you have any complaints about the quality of the broadcast, please do not hesitate to inform John Snagge.

I am also informed that those seeking information concerning the all-string procedures for listening to the broadcast may go here. Those who disagree know exactly where they can go.

Now come, let us roll up our trouser legs and reveal the contents!

Yours faithfully,
Wallace Greenslade

(Note: the show is not on the main feed tonight, it's back on the backup feeds. Hup!)