You are JAMES HUMPHREY! You're a chronic liar and honestly, that shit you cooked looked terrible. You've never been on that river before and you do not speak Indian. We also doubt that your friend made a gazillion dollars. Oh well, that's all you're asking for: money money money. Too bad you fell in with the bad crowd. Oh well, you're always up for a little cannibalism. Just not butt. Any cut but butt.
Shpadoinkle!