Undignified ways to die

[docwebster]

By Paul Gilmartin

Skin diving with gas tanks you stole from a dentist.
Renting a basement apartment in Venus.

Wearing clown shoes while walking through a mine field at night.
Getting a life size tattoo of someone your height.

Mistaking a python for your favorite tie.
Hang gliding at night on the Fourth of July.

Having a bowling ball dropped on your head.
Mooning some cannibals who haven't been fed.

Teasing some Scots for wearing their kilt.
Approaching a chopper while walking on stilts.

Swimming with sharks in a suit made of meat.
Flashing yourself to a hippo in heat.

Slapping the head of a bald drunken sailor.
And telling your date's burley dad "Five bucks says I nail'er".