Ann Coulter has really gone off the deep end this time.

[docwebster]

Somewhat lengthy cut-and-paste of the psychotic freak's column that was so offensive it got booted from USA Today, with my responses (and venomous respones they are, too. You've been warned. If you proceed and are offended thereby, I don't particularly care). I'd direct you to her site, but it's easily found and I don't want to give the miserable sack of filth any more traffic than I absolutely have to.



July 26, 2004

Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston,
(As a member of the group you call Spawn Of Satan, Ann, I cheerfully invite you to go to hell.)

conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do.

(What planet is this bitch on, anyway?)

My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazened with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.

(Get that, folks? If you're not on Ann's incredibly narrow side, you're not pretty. Think I'm making too much of the statement? Read on.)

Democrats are constantly suing and slandering police as violent, fascist racists --

(Two words, dipshit - Mark Furman)

with the exception of Boston's police, who'll be lauded as national heroes right up until the Democrats pack up and leave town on Friday, whereupon they'll revert to their natural state of being fascist, racist pigs.

A speaker at the Democratic National Convention this year, Al Sharpton, accused white police officers of raping and defacing Tawana Brawley in 1987, lunatic charges that eventually led to a defamation lawsuit against Sharpton and even more eventually, to Sharpton paying a jury award to the defamed plaintiff Steve Pagones. So it's a real mystery why cops wouldn't like Democrats.

(Or poster children for Botox who are about as physically appealing as a lump of playdoh dipped in mouldering lard, like yourself.)

As for the pretty girls, I can only guess that it's because liberal boys never try to make a move on you without the UN Security Council's approval.

(No, Ann, the reason liberal boys don't make a move on you is you're an ugly bitch, inside and out.)

Plus, it's no fun riding around in those dinky little hybrid cars. My pretty-girl allies stick out like a sore thumb amongst the corn-fed, no make-up, natural fiber, no-bra needing, sandal-wearing, hirsute, somewhat fragrant hippie chick pie wagons they call "women" at the Democratic National Convention.

(Care to help me dispute this basket case with some pictures, ladies?)

Apparently, the nuts at the Democratic National Convention are going to be put in cages outside the convention hall. Sadly, they won't be fighting to the death as is done in W.W.F. caged matches. They're calling this the "protestor's area," although I suppose a better name would be the "truth-free zone".

(So, let me get this straight, Ann.. it was okay when Bush had "free speech zones" set far away from wherever he was so his tender eyes and ears didn't have to be offended, but not okay when Demos do it? Yeah, it's a "cage", but I'd posit that some of our sadly less stable liberal brethren might get into shoving matches or worse with protesters if that "cage" wasn't there. Look me square in the eye and tell me I'm wrong.)

I thought this was a great idea until I realized the nut category did not include Sharpton, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Teddy Kennedy -- all featured speakers at the convention. I'd say the actual policy is only untelegenic nuts get the cages, but little Dennis Kucinich is speaking at the Convention, too. So it must be cages for nuts who have not run for president as serious candidates for the Democratic Party.

(Ann, the only thing little is your shrivelled excuse for a face.. I mean soul. Pardon.)

Looking at the line-up of speakers at the Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We'll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he'll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them.

(Right. So you know beyond a shadow of a doubt this will happen? You're edging perilously close to slander, you freak. I only wish I had the ability to take your bony ass to court over it.)

For 20 years, the Democrats wouldn't let Jimmy Carter within 100 miles of a Convention podium. The fact that Carter is now their most respectable speaker tells you where that party is today. Maybe they just want to remind Americans who got us into this Middle East mess in the first place. W've got millions of fanatical Muslims trying to slaughter Americans while shouting Allah Akbar! Yeah, let's turn the nation over to these guys.

(Got that, folks? If you're a Democrat, this repulsive troll of a woman honestly believes we all want to turn the country over to a bunch of religious fanatics as opposed to the religious fanatics we have in office now. Dipshit.)

With any luck, Gore will uncork his speech comparing Republicans to Nazis. Just a few weeks ago, Gore gave a speech accusing the Bush administration of deploying digital "Brown Shirts" to intimidate journalists and pressure the media into writing good things about Bush -- in case you were wondering where all those glowing articles about Bush were coming from.

(I hope he does, you bitch, just so I can watch you explode. I really, really hate you.)

The last former government official to slake his thirst so deeply with the kool-aid and become a far-left peacenik was Ramsey Clarke and it took him a few years to really blossom. Clinton must have done some number on Gore. Then again, with his yen for earth tones in a man's wardrobe, maybe Gore's references to "Brown Shirts" was intended as a compliment.

(Got that, folks? It's bad to call Bush a Nazi, but it's okay for this mentally unbalanced shell of a woman to intimate the same thing about Demos.)

Only one major newspaper -- the Boston Herald -- reported Gore's Brown Shirt comment, though a Bush campaign spokesman's statement quoting the "Brown Shirt" line made it into the very last sentence of a Los Angeles Times article. The New York Times responded with an article criticizing both Republicans and Democrats for using Nazi imagery. Democrats call Republicans Nazis, the Republicans quote the Democrats calling Republicans Nazis and both are using Nazi imagery. (It's a cycle of violence!)

(I just wish some of it was directed at you, but no such luck.)

The nuts in the cages are virtual Bertrand Russells compared to the official speakers at the Democratic Convention. On the basis of their placards, I gather the caged-nut position is that they love the troops so much, they don't want them to get hurt defending America from terrorist attack. Support the troops, the signs say, bring them home.

That's my new position on all government workers, except the 5% who aren't useless, which is to say cops, prosecutors, firemen and U.S. servicemen. I love bureaucrats at the National Endowment of the Arts funding crucifixes submerged in urine so much -- I think they should go home. I love public school teachers punishing any mention of God and banning Christmas songs so much -- I think they should go home.

(I'd wish for you to go home, Ann, but I gather the bunker was destroyed almost sixty years ago now. Darn the luck.)

Walking back from the convention site I chatted with a normal Bostonian for several blocks -- who must have identified me through our covert system of signals. He was mostly bemused by the Democrats' primetime speakers and told me he used to be an independent, but for the last 20 years found himself voting mostly Republican. Then he corrected himself and said he votes for the American.

I'd say I love all these Democrats in Boston so much I want them to go home, but I don't. I want Americans to get a good long look at the French Party and keep the 7-11 challenge in mind.

(The French Party. I would sooner be French than any part of any country you envision the United States becoming in your fevered dreams. When you die, Ann, if I can find a way to piss on your grave without getting shot or arrested, rest assure I will. You are a stain on humanity.)

Comments

[javagoth.livejournal.com]

Remember the days when the politicians of the world at least pretended they were mature and educated...?

I don't - but I hear it was interesting.

And the print this stuff. It's just... Gah...

**walks away shaking her head**

She's a nutcase

[jessicaeast.livejournal.com]

Al Franken was right: Ann Coulter is a nutcase. Check my journal in the next several days for pictures that prove that all the pretty girls at the convention weren't also nutcases like Ann.

Re: She's a nutcase

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Will do.