And now, Albrecht Durer. (as it's quarter after three and I'm just sliiightly punchy)

[docwebster]

Announcer: Albecht Durer, 1471-1530, the Nuremberg painter who captivated Europe with his sharp eye, his mastery of line and texture, his car hire service. .

(Cut to a man behind a desk, played by John Cleese.)

Man behind desk: We apologize for the inaccuracies that have crept into this portrait of Albrecht Durer. Durer NEVER operated a car hire service. Thank you. (Cut back to a drawing.)

Announcer: Durer drew his inspiration from his birthplace, Nuremberg. Portraits. Landscapes. The detail of nature. Social themes. Religious themes. But always present his fascination with the grotesque. To find out more about Durer the man as opposed to Durer the insect. . . (cut back to the man at desk.)

Man behind desk: Watch it! (Cut to more drawings.)

Announcer: to find out what went on in the mind of this great artist, we spoke to a person in Sydney (Cut to an Australian played by Michael Palin.)

Australian: I know as much about Durer as I know about a kangaroo's rectum. Well, a kangaroo's bum is a pretty tight little number, compared to other marsupials' bums. I personally prefer arse [BEEP] Bum. [BEEP] Arse BEEP] Arse [BEEP] Arse [BEEP] Bum. [BEEP]Arse [BEEP] Arse [BEEP] Bum [BEEP] Bum [BEEP] Bum [BEEP] (He slugs down some Fosters.) Arse [BEEP] Bum [BEEP] Bum. [BEEP] (We again see the man behind the desk.)

Man behind Desk: We apologize for the inapposite style of their appraisal of Durer. We'll start again with an appreciation of his life and works, sung by Anita Eckberg.

Comments

[drowned-sorrow.livejournal.com]

Heh, I actually missed this, because just for once I was in bed!

[djvampira.livejournal.com]

I love Monty Python. :-)

[bludfeast.livejournal.com]

Man behind Desk: You have been watching the BBC's True Hollywood Story of Albecht Durer. Tune in next wee for an all new episode of the BBC's "Behind The Philosophy" with an episode titled, "Marcel Proust; What Exactly Did He Write About in that Bluddy First Book!"
And now, Today In Genital Piercing with Lowell and Ron.
(Huge Cow falls upon Man, and desk explodes.)

Vyvian: Oh, how bloody typical! Boring, Boring BORING! Always have to end your sketches with people being killed by exploding farm animals or giant feet. I'll show you how to Properly end a sketch!

(Cut to a Laboratory, Neil in foreground, bent over, looking frightened)

Vyv: Now, here we have a stupid bloody hippy in a submissive position. In my right hand, I hold a stick of dynamite.

Neil: Vyv, I think I have, like, somewhere else to be, man!

Vyv: Shut up, Neil!

(Cut back to a different Man Behind Desk, played by Ben Stiller)

Ben: I still can't believe FOX cancelled my show after only 13 episodes.