A Public Service Announcement

The next goddamn person I see wearing one of those snide fucking "Vampires aren't real. Grow up." shirts, I am personally going to fucking disembowel them via their toenails, then garrote them with their own lower intestines. Just because your monkey lookin' ass has no sense of wonder or imagination, don't come poking your Mount Olympus nose into mine or my friend's hobbies or I will personally flog you to death with your own windpipe while I waterski in the gouting blood. Thank you.