God bless Mark Morford

Remember a month or so ago in this entry when I told you about James Putz.. I mean, Rutz of Worldnet Daily who put forth the extraordinarily moronic suggestion that soybeans make you gay?

Well, genties and ladlemen, Mark Morford of SFGate.com has an absolute field day with this moron in his latest column. Take it away, Mark:

Oh yes, you knew it. Especially if you are from the far end of the baffled gay-hatin' right-wing mind-set and don't read much and don't really care about pesky stuff like science, or fact, or health, or, you know, actual thought. Yay you!

Yes, you knew there was a threat far, far more dire to your precious child right now than Nancy Pelosi's terrifying agenda or Aaron Sorkin's bewildering dialogue or pagan yoga classes or swell federal abstinence programs that all those hippie perverts on the left claim actually demean and degrade the human sexual animal worse than the thought of Pat Robertson with a lederhosen ball gag but which you really appreciate given how you haven't had sex since, say, the Ford administration.

(Nifty neat userpic courtesy of madsqueeble)

Big McLargeHuge!

Genties and ladlemen, this Friday night's main event is Mystery Science Theater 3000's shredding of the Manos: The Hands Of Fate of space operas, "Space Mutiny". Sweet baby Jesus on a pogo stick is this movie awful.

"That scene really made me stop and think... about how much better a root canal would be than this movie!"

"Special effects by Industrial Light and Morons." - Mike

"You know, a lot of people have compared this scene to the climactic chariot scene in Ben Hur... Yeah, you know, they usually say, 'Ben Hur was really good; this movie totally sucks." - Mike

Yes, my friends, a movie so cheaply made they skipped doing outside the spaceship shots annnnnnnnd just used leftover footage from Battlestar Galactica.

So yes, at 11 eastern on Friday I bring you this pile of cinematic fecal matter, Mystery Science Theater 3000 style. Prepare yourself for deeeeeep hurting.

Yours truly,
Punch Rockgroin

Trunk Slamchest!

Speaking of Friday night's main event, here is a list of the names they came up with for this lantern jawed moron:

( We've got movie siiiiiggggnnnn! )