An obscenity laden rant

[docwebster]

Because I'm just in that kind of mood, kids.

Well, folks, on one hand we have Ann Coulter. Mind you, I'll be instantly washing that hand as I consider Ann Coulter to be one of the most intellectually disease-ridden piles of filth ever foisted on the American public by the mental dwarves who actually buy her bilge contending that McCarthyism was a myth generated by us durn evil lib'rals.

Let me put it like this, Ann. May I call you Ann? I don't really give a fuck either way, because I'm going to do it anyway, you Barbie Doll From Hell looking sack of sputum in a dress. You might think we liberals want you dead. Some might, but I want you to live a long life. Why? Because I will derive many pleasant thoughts of you growing old, suffering and dying a slow death you misbegotten spawn of a goat and a random Black Sabbath roadie. That is, of course, assuming your body allows you to die. I mean, if you have any more Botox injections you'll be able to be your own statue at Madame Tussaud's.

I mean, this political version of a crack whore actually said this in an exchange on Hannity And Colmes:

ELLIS HENICAN [Newsday columnist]: We share a lot of culture and a lot of interests. Why do we want to have to ridicule them and be deeply offended if they disagree with us?
COULTER: Because they speak French.
COLMES: There's something else I want to point out about the French. Is it's fashionable again on your side to denounce the French.
COULTER: We like the English-speaking Canadians.

Ann, I have only this to say in response to that (and bear in mind I'm getting this from Babelfish. You know Babelfish, right Ann? It's on the Internets.): Va te faire foutre, vous vache maigre malheureuse. Je vous déteste, je vous déteste, je vous déteste.

According to Babelfish, that's French for "Fuck you, you miserable skinny cow. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." The sentiment is there, at least.

Yes, friends, this gibbering bitch dismisses an entire country because they speak a language it's "cool" to hate. It's a LANGUAGE, you brain dead bimbo! How.. I.. ARGH! Mindless twat.. argh.

But wait, there's more!

"COULTER: They better hope the United States doesn't roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent."

No, Ann, you're lucky that it would be illegal for a group of pissed off Canadians to drive down and force feed you your own computer via your toenails, you freakish bitch.

I could go on all day about this pimple on the backside of humanity, and I will likely have far worse to see about this walking sheet stain, but I want to get in a few swipes at Tucker Calrson.

Yes, folks, the Eddie Haskell of punditry, Tucker "Jon Stewart made me his bitch" Carlson:

"CARLSON: I'm surprised there was anybody left in Canada to attend the protests. I noticed that most sort of vigorous, ambitious Canadians, at least almost all comedians in Canada, come to the United States in the end. Doesn't that tell you something about the sort of limpid, flaccid nature of Canadian society, that people with ambition come here? What does that tell you about Canada?"

I don't want to hear about limp and flaccid from a man over the age of 30 who (a) still wears a fucking bow tie on a regular basis and (b) looks to be such a complete and utter loser his right hand only wants to be friends. Maybe.

Tucker, I sincerely hope you one day get anally violated by a love struck gorilla. I fucking hate you and everything your sycophantic ass stands for.

Comments

[yobadself.livejournal.com]

Gawd, I love it when you get all angered and smack people with your rage and opinions. \m/ indeed.

[guruwench.livejournal.com]

fumefumefumefumefumefumefumefumefumefumefumefumefumefume

(Note to self: No matter how well-written, or how righteously on-fucking-target, perhaps best to avoid a Doc rant before bed. You need to sleep.)

Seriously, it's this kind of attitude that makes a lot of Canadians say "I hate Americans, they're so [insert stereotype here]". I know lots of you folks, enough to know you aren't even close to all like this collection of knobs, but it's these winners that give all y'all a bad name.

I share your offense, friend, more than you can imagine.

[unixronin.livejournal.com]

"...if you have any more Botox injections you'll be able to be your own statue at Madame Tussaud's."

Magnifique! :-)

[triadruid.livejournal.com]

That was dastardly biting. *golf clap*

[weekendwench.livejournal.com]

eloquent as always

[shadowduchess.livejournal.com]

I should NOT have read that before bed.
It was concise as always.
Being someone who lived in Canada for the majority of her life and also speaking french as well as a variety of other languages I take great offense to these idiotic self proclaimed political intelligencia spouting their blithe brand of manure.
'Lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent'
There is no allowing there, there is no choice, there is nothing she hasn't a sodding clue in that botulism injected cabeza of hers. I half wonder if all the poisons have seeped into the rest of her bloodless carcass and this font of feculence is a result.
Thank you for your passionately written discourse on the moppets that spew idiocy.

[skwishmi.livejournal.com]

LMAO

[midnightmadness.livejournal.com]

You know, I am probably one of the people on the planet that actually loathes Coulty more than you do - but I'm QUITE happy with where she is and her position. If this is the best representative of women on the right and the one they want pushing thei “values” and “ideals” forth for them, let her be in the media spotlight until the day she dies. She's the white woman equivalent of Alan Keyes. Yes, I can't for a second even figure out how she became one of the more prominent tighty righty people, but if I had to guess it was because many news editors realized just how crazy she really is and they actually take a sort of off-the-cuff joy putting her on camera to dig herself further into her insanity hole. Nope, I want Ann and her fans and supporters right where they are, so I know when I should have to "walk on the other side of the street" when I see them coming.

[bsquad.livejournal.com]

Now that you've had your rant, Doc, take another look at it.

Yes. Anne Coulter is frequently an idiot and certainly here. You're right to chastise her for judging people based on what language they speak.

So, why do you then, a few paragraphs later, rip into Tucker Carlson for how he looks and what he wears? I remember people who did that in high school and, from time to time in my adult life, I've had the displeasure of dealing with people who continued to do it. To a person, they were assholes.

Be careful that your hatred of Coulter and Carlson doesn't turn you into what you purport to hate. Ann Coulter and Tucker Carlson are angry, little clowns held up by predominantly liberal media outlets to do their funny conservative clown dance and give everyone on the right a black eye. midnightmadness almost has it right. MSNBC gives her air time because they want to portray her as "the best the right has to offer" when anyone who can step back and take a moment knows that's simply not true. Pick a conservative blogger genuinely at random (I said random. Put Adam Yoshida back in his cage.) and there's at least a 50/50 chance they would make a more cogent, rational spokesperson for the American Republican than Ann Coulter. But, cogent, rational conservatives just don't sell.

According to her bio (http://www.anncoulter.com/bio.html), Ann Coulter hasn't worked for a Republican for a long time and certainly didn't become a public figure through working for anyone in the GOP. Who gave her a voice? Geraldo Rivera, Bill Marr, MSNBC and CNN. And don't think she doesn't know it. And don't think she doesn't know it. As bugfuck crazy as she is on the inside, it's pretty clear that she's saying outrageous things for the sake of being outrageous as often as she's speaking from her black and shriveled heart.

Don't think it's just the mainstream that does this, either. Take a look at any of the popular right-wing nutters who blog and list their postbacks. My anecdotal analysis suggests that 80% of their publicity comes from people they outrage, the other 20% being split pretty evenly between fellow right-wing nutjobs and people who say, "He's crazy, but he makes a good point on X."

John Stewart was right that what we see on these shows isn't debate. It's theatre meant to quash real debate on substantive issues. Don't mistake it for reality.

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. I was just in a highly pissy mood and fed to the gills when I saw that stuff and it was a lit match in a powder keg.