That Miller style rant I promised

[docwebster]

But it seems to me that the positively stunning revelation that there were no fucking WMDs in Iraq should reveal to anyone with a brain that, you know, George Bush is a lying imbecile whose administration got fed a ream of schweinerei by some guy with a name that sounds like the noises produced by a major respiratory infection.

Sadly, the people who voted this reject from a Barney Fife lookalike contest back into office in the face of all the piles of evidence that suggested such a choice would be about as sane as Charles Manson deprived of his blankie are not likely to embrace so simple a logical construct as "President lies about war, President loses job or at least gets kicked in the nuts by every single family member of every single U.S. soldier killed in "Pee Wee" Bush's Big Adventure".

We're a resilient bunch, we Americans, but the shrill screeching from the far right human metronomes that anyone who doesn't unquestioningly support this war are feelthy traitorous scum, Steempy has sapped some of our resolve. What we of the left have to do is grow a pair again, get back out there and hold up the light so that the those of the citizenry who actually voted for this cretin without being under the influence of major hallucinogenics will see that the emperor is not only stark, staring naked, he is quite likely to blame his lack of togs on just about anybody brown and wearing a burnoose so he can make up for his utter lack of real leadership by blowing the living shit out of them. Oo, look! Our economy is in the crapper and our schools are about as effective as Donald Wildmon at the Palm Springs White Party, but lookit all them dead brown people! YAY!

Not that a lot of people had the opportunity to assimilate all the myriad evidence of Georgie Porgie being a complete dunce thanks to the bleatings of people like Sean Hannity, "The Falafel King" Bill O'Reilly and Margaret Hamilton on acid.. I mean, Ann Coulter. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, eh, folks? To anyone who can listen to human bilge like this without major internal bleeding from hysterical laughter I can only say this: we told you so.

We told you that The Man From Crawford was as about as effective a world leader as Blind Pew, but you didn't listen. We told you that the sort of diplomacy that resembles a Saturday night bar fight in West Armpit, Alabama was a bad idea, but you didn't listen. The whole fucking world told Mad King George his attitude was about as appealing as Broderick Crawford doing a pole dance, but he didn't listen. Let me correct that: he listened, but with Karl Rove's hand up his ass pulling the little strings that make his jaw work George just didn't give a shit.

And can someone please explain to me why some knuckle dragging moron judge or governor with hairdos that could repel ICBMs at close range are mighty defenders of the constitution when they uphold the kind of laws against homosexuals that would make Vlad Tepes blush, and judges and/or mayors who say "Hey, fuck it. Go ahead and get married. What the hell do I care?" are naughty, naughty activists who should apparently be burned at the stake?

Here's a clue, bubaleh: if they're not sucking your dick, it's none of your damn business what they do with theirs or somebody elses.

Since I'm on a roll, here's another clue-by-four for the religious right: if you aren't the one that fucked them, then you have absolutely no right to even vaguely suggest what they should do with their bodies, let alone order them to do it by law - and let me make this very plain to you simpletons: the first one of you stupid bastards who opens their mouth and mouths some idiotic platitude about it being God's will when the first of the back alley abortions your legislatic sledgehammers would engender ends with the mother dead, I will personally use your esophagus as a concertina.

Now we see that the Bucky Katt of international politics is trying the same sort of approach to Social Security he applied to his push for war with Iraq, never mind that he tried the same damn thing a little over twenty five years ago when he ran for Congress in which he warned Social Security would be bankrupt in ten years if it didn't privatize.

I'm going to enjoy this. I'm going to enjoy watching that slimy bastard crash and burn. I'm going to enjoy watching the far right wander around in a daze in a few years like Corey Feldman after a party at Charlie Sheen's place in Topanga. Why? Because they're assholes and they deserve the humiliation that's coming to them.

Oh, and to Dennis Miller I have this to say: for a guy whose career is getting about as much buzz as Tommy Chong stranded at an Amish barn raising, I hope you have a front row seat for all of it so you can watch the bastards you deserted sanity for bite the big one.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. But I'm not.

Comments

[griffen.livejournal.com]

*applause*

[matchgirl42.livejournal.com]

What all of us on the left need, I think, are stickers that say, "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry."

What was that saying? Hmmmm.....hoist in their own petard, or something like that?

[foxsynergy.livejournal.com]

Not to dust off an old chestnut, but fuckin' A.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

2008, guess whom the Democrats are going to be using as a donkey in a game of pin the tail...
pity we got so frikin' long to wait though. Oh well, at least I get to do something about the chump-in-charge over here soon.

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

If I should ever have the fortune to speak to Dennis Miller, I will ask him, "What happened to the rest of the bird?" Because, see, that's a quote of his, from a rant about "the left wing and the right wing" and the vanishing number of people who are willing to stay in the sane but unpopular center and think for themselves. It was in his third or fourth book, it had to be 2000 or so, relatively recent but still the pre-brainscrubbed Miller. Where's the rest of that bird, now, Miller? Is it "outta here?"

[lazysun.livejournal.com]

that was eminently satisfying. thank you.