Another damned thing

[docwebster]

I really, really, really despise the whole "We're childfree so we're better than you. Down with chestbursters. YAY!" mentality evidenced by most of (but by no means all of) that lot.

Comments

[eleri.livejournal.com]

amen. Don't belittle the work I do, just because you've chosen not to do the same job, bitch.

[midnightmadness.livejournal.com]

Don't belittle the work I do, just because you've chosen not to do the same job, bitch

You had me until "bitch" - and, therin lies exactly where the "better than you" attitude comes from in many childfree people - it's because of those that don't actually "do the work" for the job they signed on for. I know many a damn fine parent doing a damn fine job raising a responsible human being, and I can also walk trough any mall on any given Saturday and for every good parent I can also find at least three suck-ass people with children in tow that are the example of bad/poor parenting as these people have not even the first clue about how to raise a child, AND aren’t even bothering to try and get any better at it. They think a child is akin to a little trophy, like a car or house that you can keep a photo of in your wallet as a status symbol to put on your desk at work, and don't realize that you have to take active participation in the growth of this human being for the next 18 YEARS (at least). That concept seems lost on more and more "parents" with each passing year.

[pceflwrgrl.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with you. Soon after Hanna was moved here with I grandma and her dad. He immediately took her to Walmart to show her off to strangers so they could go awe how cute around them. I just wanted to hurl.

He still goes to walmart with hanna umpteen hours a week. He says hes taking her out for fresh air but I still haven't found where walmart dispence cans of fresh air. ..

So if you know where in walmart those are sold, please tell me.

[stypica.livejournal.com]

not quite sure what you're talking about - but if I'm guessing right...

Being child-free by choice, and despising the little sprogglings I get quite sick of everyone judging us and getting in our business about not having kids. It wasn't my business if someone else wanted their's - it's none of their goddamn business why I don't want them... neither side is "better" than the other, it comes down to making the right choice *for yourself*.

but that might not be what you're even talking about:)

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

See, that I can deal with. It's the ones who ponce about with their noses in their air sneering at those who do have children who can go and get stuffed.

(I've been watching Ground Force all afternoon so my speech is getting all British.)

[pceflwrgrl.livejournal.com]

Oh to be child free. That would be nice. I'm taking care of my cousin whos mother doesn't want to be a mother and ditched her and father who has the mentality of a 14 year old who thinks he can do anything he wants. And ditches his daughter on his mother doing nothing fuctional for the kid but taking her to day care.. and eventually back after they spend umpteen hours with his girlfriend.

He suddenly slaps, I'm going to a rock concert, you take care of the kid. Then the I never do anything argument/speech. He does a hell alot more than I and Grandmother do.

He doesn't do shit and if he worries about his little girl, Hanna at all its about her looks. If she has a bruise, he points it out. He always points out her "pudge" that shes supposed to have but he believes shes fat.

One time after she got her hair cut he told her that she wasn't beautiful because her hair was short and if she wanted to be beautiful she needed to grow her hair out like Beka (her best friend).

Now isn't that a turn down? The main reason he hair does get shortened is because she has a very sensitive head, its only to her sholders its not like a pixie cut.

[pceflwrgrl.livejournal.com]

To be honest, watching my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Marc parading with no kids dangling behind them, I'd really yearn for that. You would probably want to stuff them.

They get to go to BMW convensions, they can stay out all night together at some sort of wine event or go on any ship cruise they like.. That would be heaven.

But my uncle fucked that one up for me. Well at least I'm 23 and Hanna's 4. I didn't even give birth to her.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that is quite annoying.

I'm child-free by choice (and circumstance), although I'm not averse to the idea of adopting a human sprog. I just know that right now, I wouldn't be the best parent for him/her.

So, I'll stick with feline sprogs - and visits with my furry shelter friends. :)

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

If you don't like the people who say that, feed them to the horses. I've heard that accusation leveled at a lot of groups who refuse to shut up and accept their second-class citizenship. "I'm childfree and I'm not ashamed" translates to some imagined claim of superiority, because, shit, a person wouldn't make that choice if they didn't think it was better. We hear about the elitist liberals who go around acting like they're better than conservatives, and the otherkin who obviously think they're better than human, and so on. I don't buy it. It's rhetoric aimed at quelling the voice of what would be an invisible minority when they get uppity enough to act like they're as good as regular people.

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

Where do we sign up for the "Turning Holier-Than-Thou Assholes Into Soylent Green" field trip? I'd be more than happy to help with that one. *evil smirk*

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, I'm being a bit opaque. "If you don't like the people who say that, feed them to the horses" is my way of saying something is a straw man; in other words, show me a real existing elitist and maybe I'll take the complaint somewhat seriously while we then work on the word "most."

[hiddenmuse.livejournal.com]

No worries - I was making assumptions ... but the clarification makes more sense! :)

[stypica.livejournal.com]

'"I'm childfree and I'm not ashamed" translates to some imagined claim of superiority, because, shit, a person wouldn't make that choice if they didn't think it was better'

and that is where you and I disagree - edit that to be "a person wouldn't make that choice if they didn't think it was better for them</>"

having a kid or not doesn't make a person better or worse. for some people, being a parent is the best thing they could ever do - they positively affect a life and nurture a child into a decent adult. For others, a kid is just a byproduct of drunken stupidity, or because it's a way to fatten a check, or to fill some fucked up hole in their own life. Those people should also be ground up for horse meat - not only are they fucking up their own life, they are most likely fucking up any life their offspring will have.

people just need be more self aware, and less defensive about other people's decisions. Especially when they have no impact on anyone else's life.

I have to say I'm not necessarily proud of being childless, but it is a decision I've made that I am certainly not ashamed of. Why would I be, and why would you care?

[stypica.livejournal.com]

woops, forgot an "i" in my closing tag :)

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Old age will do that. *ducks quickly*

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

Word word wordy McWord.

I'm not going to have any anytime soon, never wanted them, never going to have them. For many reasons, not least that I realise I am NOT parent material, I don't have the patience or the temperament, and don't want to subject any child as a result to my inadequacies as a human being, because that would fuck them up royally.

That's a decision I made very early on in my life, and I'm sticking with it.

[javagoth.livejournal.com]

Alas it seem to be human nature to seek to validate oneself and ones choices by invalidating or putting down anothers.

I just wish people would show a little more awareness to the fact that some folks don't have kids because they can't - which is not my case (to the best of my knowledge) but is an issue that others close to me have had. It can be extremely painful for someone who wants kids to be asked if they have kids & if not why not. The attitude that if you're married (or were ever married) and don't have kids you're somehow derelict in your duty to the world just annoys the hell out of me. I thought long and hard before making that decision and I put the well being of the potential child first and foremost. I gladly would bequeath those children I might have had but chose not to to others who would like to have them but haven't been able to.

Of course some people consider me a murderous hussy for taking Birth Control pills...

[drdemure.livejournal.com]

I had kids, damned good ones. That I took an effort with. But I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I didn't. And I still won't dis anyone who made a different choice. I don't wish any of them back, but I see both sides.