docwebster | I had to post this.

I have been sitting here for the past 45 minutes, with what follows the cut spilling out of my mind into Notepad. So, for your edification, I present:

I never wanted to be like this. I didn't want to be the monster that lurks in the shadows, dealing out death. All I ever wanted was music, an angel of my own to share my sorrows and make my wings of song take flight that I might know simple, innocent joy. But a whim of cruel fate decreed that my face would be twisted into a hideous mockery. I would instead be the stuff of nightmares. Oh yes, it was a most cruel joke indeed. Unable to look beyond my appearance, mankind condemned itself to horrors beyond their limited imaginations and I have blackened my soul with sins beyond counting ever since.

But then there came a voice.

I heard her, that most memorable of nights, when I lurked in the vaultings of that magnificent edifice. O, foolish Carlotta! Unable to bear the sweet radiance of that voice, you whispered in the ear of that shambling idiot that she should be relegated to the corps d'ballet. You thought in your pride she would then never threaten your position.

Unable to bear your arrogance, and sensing perhaps my misery and loneliness had at last come to an end, I took Christine under my wing that she might learn the finer points of sweet music. She blossomed under my tutelage, aye, and became far greater and wondrous than I could possibly have dreamt. Her voice, her beauty.. her innocence, all of it kindled a flame in me I thought was forever dead. Yes, o foolish ones, I then knew love. But even then, fate had laid torment at my doorstep.

The boy, ah yes, the boy. A strapping lad, he was. Viscomte D'Chagny was a pompous, strutting oaf knowing nothing but the dictates of fashion. But even here the unearthly radiance of Christine brought forth what was buried deep inside this unsufferable jackanapes. He swiftly became my rival and my poor, confused Christine took to him.

I am afraid I let jealousy overcome my better judgment and I sunk into a kind of madness, killing that great oaf Joseph Buquet and that porcine fool Piangi to hide my secret. But then came a miracle, if I might say.

The mobs were bearing down on my sanctuary to exact blind justice, and Christine.. she kissed me. I knew wonder as I'd never known it before, and then our tears merged and I knew what I must do. I set Christine free, free to live her life beyond the shadow of my madness. She deserved nothing less, and so I defied the mobs by disappearing yet further into the catacombs and thence left my beloved Opera for far countries to live out my misery and loss.

When word came to me of Christine's death, I returned to Paris. I waited a decent time, and then laid a single red rose upon her tombstone. I had turned to leave and was indeed hidden behind a tomb after I heard approaching voices. It was D'Chagny himself. He looked aged and saddened, as well he might. I knew then that perhaps he truly did understand and I knew as finally as I ever will that I had done the right thing. I turned again to leave, and I saw D'Chagny's gaze fixed on where I had been just a second before. He smiled a secret, weary ghost of a smile and then he and his attendants left.

When they had left, I went again to her tombstone and saw what he had laid there. To my amazement, it was the very mechanical Persian monkey that had been in my sanctuary all those years ago. I reached for it, but no. I would not rob Christine of that last gift. I closed my eyes and whispered a thanks to D'Chagny. I had most cruelly misjudged him, and here was proof.

I returned to my old sanctuary by secret means known not even to that mob of so long ago. They had blocked up all the other entrances, but at length I found myself standing in my lost haven again. Other than a touch of mold and a mustiness in the air, nothing had changed.

I leave this note so that whoever may someday find it will pray to God to have mercy on my poor soul, and to send blessings to the Viscomte and his lovely bride, my angel Christine. I now lay me down my burden, for I am home at last and for the first time in my miserable life I know peace. As the song says, think of me. Think of me whenever you know the joys of sweet music, and know that within music, there will always be the Phantom.