My personal philosophy.. if I were a cow, anyway.

[docwebster]

Feel free to weigh in on this, folks.

The Philosophy Of Cows
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When in doubt, shit.

A foolish cow chews his cud while the farmer approaches. A wise cow kicks him in the nuts and runs like hell.

See the lovely hay. Doesn't it smell wonderful? WHOA, baby.. that's shome funny hay.. hee hee.. wheeee! Anybody got a Twinkie?

"Cow green was my valley? Naaaaah." - Hawkeye Pierce

"God is dead." - Nietzche
"Nietzche is dead." - God
"Moo." - Cow

Who the hell drinks 1/2 percent milk, anyway? Why not just drink water with library paste thrown in? You'll get the same effect.

Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you. Cows just sort of stand there, chew cud, shit all over the place and look at you like you're a fucking moron when you try to get them to eat a handful of weeds.

Appadappadingdangdong.

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I'll probably be adding to this deathless philosophical treatise over time, but feel free to add your own in reply to this entry.

Comments

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

There are certain times when cows will, in fact, come when called. (Those times would be the morning and evening milkings, when the cows are MORE than eager to have their aching udders drained.) Philosophize as you will. :-)

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Udderly ridiculous. *Bwahaha*