I just thought this needed to be said.

[docwebster]

Carrot Top must die.

Now, the only question that remains is how to accomplish this. So, what I need from you folks is how this might best be accomplished. The method should be ideally be humiliating, violent, and did I mention humiliating?

So get cracking, folks.

Comments

[murnkay.livejournal.com]

Dress him up like Wendy (of Wendy's fame) and stick his face in a fry frier.

Re:

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

I like it. It's got style.

[murnkay.livejournal.com]

OR, make him dress like the guy in my journal.

Re:

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Why insult SpiderGeek?

[bunyip.livejournal.com]

Strap him down on a table with barbed wore and then dig out his heart with a blunt, rusty spoon.

[beki.livejournal.com]

Dress him up like Pippi Longstockings and send him into a leather bar with a sign that says spank me? wait that would just be humilitating.. I have to work on this :)

Plan 001

[jakestone.livejournal.com]

Simple plan, Herr Doctor.

1. Surgically install a radio transponder inside him.
2. Tap into all the security cameras of the world, and whenever he nears one, whether it be in London, or the local ATM, his image is transmitted on TV.
3. Tell the Girl Scouts that if he doesn't buy a box of cookies from them, they have to throw a rock at him repeatedly until they hit him once. They won't get a badge or ribbon or whatever self-esteem boosters they get get unless they succeed with one or the other.
4. Watch and wait.

That should meet all the criteria.

Well...

[darkisst.livejournal.com]

Amen & Hallelujah to that!!!

That guy (if you can call it that) gives me the creeps something fierce! YIKES!!!

Oh great now I have scary images of him racing through my head... I need somebody to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok... and that it (the scary creature that is called Carrot Top, that is) has been laid to rest... never to return again....

Hellllllp Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Re: Well...

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

I'd hold ya, but your hubby might just object. Hee. :)

Naaaah...

[darkisst.livejournal.com]

Actually, he's not really the jealous type...

Nope... not at all! LOL

Re: Naaaah...

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

Well, then.:)

*HUGHUGHUG* and other dance tunes.

Wh00p!

DocW,
runningonfartoomuchcaffeineformyowngood

*wantingtoberunningonfartoomuchcaffieneformyowngood*

[darkisst.livejournal.com]

*HUGZ* Back atcha!!!

Reality TV at it's finest...

[duluoz.livejournal.com]

Comedian Bill Hicks already thought of the perfect solution ten years ago:

Good evening! I'm very excited to be here tonight! I just got some great news today. I finally got my own show on TV coming out this fall as a replacement series.

(The audience applauds)

Don't worry, it's not a talk show.

(The audience laughs)

Thank God! It's a half-hour weekly show that I will host, entitled "Let's Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus."

(The audience bursts into laughter and applause)

I think it's fairly self-explanatory: Each week we let the Hounds of Hell loose and chase that jar-head, no-talent, cracker idiot all over the globe 'til I finally catch that fruity little pony tail of his, pull him to his Chippendale knees, and put a gun in his mouth -- Pow!

(The audience is applauding and laughing throughout this run)

Then we'll be back in '94 with "Let's Hunt and Kill Michael Bolton."

(The audience laughs and applauds)

Yeah, so you can see, with guests like this, our run will be fairly limitless.

(The audience laughs)

And we're kicking the whole series off with our M.C. Hammer/Vanilla Ice/Marky Mark Christmas Special.

(The audience whoops and applauds)

And I don't want to give away any surprises, but the first one we hunt and kill on that show is Marky Mark...

(Audience cheers)

... because his unbuttoned pants kept falling around his ankles, and he couldn't run away.

(Bill mimes a hobbling Marky Mark. The audience laughs)

Yeah, I get to crossbow him right in the abs! It's a beautiful thing. Bring the whole family. Tape it! It's definitely a show for the nineties.

(The audience applauds)

What else would you do with a carrot?

[murphymom.livejournal.com]

Run him through a juicer...

Re: What else would you do with a carrot?

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

And then you know as well as I do some sick SOB would be tempted to drink it.

Don't say it.

Re: What else would you do with a carrot?

[bunyip.livejournal.com]

Talking about yourself again? :)

If it's any consolation

[wylddelirium.livejournal.com]

A local college decided to have Carrot Top as a fundraising event. I don't know exactly know what they were thinking. At first, their advertising was all about the college - the show was not open to the public.

They sold about six tickets. For a theater that seats 1000.

So next they took out a few radio spots announcing they had opened it to the public.

They sold three more. Nine tickets for a 1000 seat theater.

Finally, they reimbursed the nine people and gave the tickets away free.

About 70 people showed up, most of them drunk and disorderly.
Most heckled more than listened.

Re: If it's any consolation

[docwebster.livejournal.com]

*sniff* You've restored my faith in humanity.

[gridlore.livejournal.com]

Doc, I keep telling you I work cheap!

Get on the ground, stick a .45 in his face, and tell him "You have one minute to say something that is actually funny."

[josette.livejournal.com]

Put him on top of one of those NYC Big Apple Tour buses chained to a payphone. Drive him thru all the neighborhoods in Brooklyn that Realtor.com has rated "much higher than national average" in crime. That should do it.

Yes....

[belladonnaerror.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree that he should die. He WAS funny when he would just show off his dumb-ass inventions but now that he has this telephone shit kick...it's gotten pathetic. ;o\ I hate him so much. LOL. I don't know how one would go about catching him and destroying him though...hrrrmmmm.... LOL. :)

-Kel-

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

Beat him to death with one of the N'backsync Boys.

Aw hell, beat him to death with *all* of them. Lots of problems solved, on the spot.

Or, if that seems like too much work, beat him to death with Christina Aguilera, after she's got the big scary puppy hair from the Lady Marmalade video. Yeah...I think I like that better.

Orrrr, you could lock 'em in a room together...they'd annoy one another to death, and the cleanup would be much easier.

Gesi

[cmndrcuddles.livejournal.com]

Does *anybody* like this guy?? He is ugly and stupid.

[cmndrcuddles.livejournal.com]

PS. His face is on a Nascar car. All across the front of the car. So that when the person ahead of that driver looks in the rearview mirror, all they see is Carrot top!

It's hideous!

And you know what? The first race he was in, the car wrecked after a few laps and was OUTTA THERE!!